Um, I'm a mom... generally confused, tired and wondering what's next... ya feel me? Then follow me. Let's go on a journey of insanity together.
If you feel a bit of that yourself, let's be friends. I don't have many because I'm throwing away TODDLER'S poopie underwear or pondering life for 10 seconds before being called into the next room to turn on a DVD or retrieve something from the toilet.
The Mombie
The “Mombie”, also known as a femaleose caretakera, is a species native to the “home”. Despite it’s name, the Mombie is functional on a daily basis and does not actually consume other humans (although may be tempted at times).
The Mombie is primarily carnivorous and tends to snack on the scraps of small beings. Mombies have few predators due to their uncanny nature of seeming like a crackpot once per month.
Although mostly solitary in terms of personal need, the mombie requires partnership in the form of “date” on a regular basis. This should include food that is prepared by another human and multiple beverages containing high volumes of alcohol.
The Mombie tends to have a neutral diet that is known to slide between healthy and that which contains large amounts of cocoa based products and things covered in a batter and submerged in hot oil.
If you see the Mombie, please be aware that they are often angered by the smell of urine that cannot be pinpointed to a specific location in the bathroom.
